Lately the thought that keeps running through my head when it comes to my work is I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. Now that the weather is starting to warm up I’m getting back into the garage studio, and I’ve set up a Fiskars Fuse as a makeshift press so that I’m not limited to the tiny size of a pasta machine.

The problem is that I simply haven’t been consistently making work. Combination of feeling like crap the majority of the time, low funds, and adhd that the doctor and I are still trying to find the right meds for. (The most recent attempt has not worked.) I find myself seeing the wonderful opportunities and shows and sales other artists on Instagram are experiencing and am filled with envy….followed by an internal smack upon the head as a reminder that I can’t get those lovely things if I don’t have anything to show.

I’m also bored with botanicals. I still like making pretty images and I still like botanical images, but I’m tired of working with them. I realized I hadn’t really made a solid body of work about a particular theme (not just broad botanical) since college, where I became obsessed with insect wings and rust. Or my final show, which was essentially a love letter to heartbreak.

However, I now have an idea of where I’m going, and it’s not botanicals. I’m wary of talking about it too much, since I’m still just in the experimenting and playing around stage but I’m finally interested in what I’m doing again. Printmaking has always been my love, and it’s what I majored in in college, so I’m excited to be able to start experimenting again with monotypes and etchings and all sorts of things.

I still have no idea what the hell I’m doing, but I at least have a better idea of where I’m going.